More Of What I Need To Know

These seem to come to me really easily after a couple drinks.

- If at first you fail, try something new. I don't mean in the sense that you give up, but with teaching it seems like there's at least a 50% chance that if your students don't get something you've taught them, it could be your fault. That's when you have to re-teach the material in a different modality or way. Ferg's the same. She likes to be pet all down her back sometimes. She gets it. But if she is feisty with me, I switch and only pet her on her head. Then she gets that.

- Routine is king. Ferg, for all her spontaneity, really likes routine. She's disappointed when Eric (accidentally or purposefully) kicks her off the bed at night. She knows the time of day she gets fed and will follow me into the kitchen. Routine is comforting to everyone, even Ferg. Students are the same way. It makes them feel empowered because they know what's going to happen. They won't be surprised and have it turn out badly. Why do you think pop quizzes suck so much? Yeah, Ferg might get angry if you surprise her the wrong way. I think students might too.

- The teacher has to work for it. Ferg has a box full of toys. Little mice with cat nip inside them, a jumpy alligator toy, and lots of midnight crazies. But her favorite thing to play with is a cork tied to the end of the string. Not only is it more of a challenge for her because I am ruthlessly tugging on the other end, but I'm actually participating. Students know when their teacher has checked out. They want their teacher to be on her toes, so that that they have to be on their toes.

- You just have to be tough. I don't really want to believe this one. But it's true. Ferg has had flea problems. In wanting to make myself feel better about giving her medicine, I bought all-natural green flea drops, sprayed tea tree oil on the rug, and fed Ferg brewer's yeast (all the home remedies). But the fleas didn't go. Our friend who's a vet told us that the all-natural stuff was actually just as bad for the cat as the real deal medication. And that stuff actually gets rid of the fleas.

In my quest to make myself feel better, I didn't treat the problem of the fleas by being tough. As a result, I got a bunch of flea bites (since Ferg sleeps in our bed). If the situation calls for it, I need to be tough with my students. Otherwise, they'll still have fleas and act out, and I'll get bit.

On a side note, Eric informed me that one way to get rid of fleas is to get rid of the cat. I guess that would be like sending a kid to the Principal's office or something? I hope not.

Everything I Need To Know

Ok, so I had the idea for this blog last night, as I was falling asleep with a head full of wine and all the little gems I've learned in teaching training so far/reading all kinds of teacher books. And I figured out I could make some money by writing a book of my own that corny teachers everywhere would love. Someone will try to come along and steal my ideas from this blog, but don't even try because I'm already in talks with a publisher.

Everything I Need To Know About Teaching I Learned From My Bad Cat

- Don't back down. My cat, Ferg, loves to do things she isn't supposed to. Like jump up on the kitchen counter, use Eric's bass amp as a scratching post, and pee on bath mats. The only thing that works with her is a stern voice to tell her "No" and picking her up to remove her from whatever she's doing. With students, I'm going to need a good stern voice and the balls to say, "move to that desk over there" (students are quite a bit heavier than Ferg).

- The learning curve is gradual. Ferg isn't the best at learning something the first time. So I'm patient with her (to Eric's dismay). I need to get a patient attitude toward the learning curve in my class. I've got some big ideas about books and poems to teach, but I need to see what the kids can do first.

- Be the one who cares. Without being the "martyr teacher" that will save lives, care about the students. Or try to. Nobody loves Ferg. It's understandable because she bites and scratches people. Even me. But I care about her anyway, despite her biting. Oh and some people call her fat, which isn't really fair.

- Stick around. Ferg lived in the streets before I got her. She was rescued by a friend of mine, who didn't think about the fact that at the end of grad school she'd be moving to Paris and couldn't take a cat. So I got her. At first it seemed like Ferg didn't really trust people. But I convinced her that she would even move to Brooklyn with me. I need to get my students to trust me and to commit to them that I'm not going to quit. It's highly likely they will have had several teachers subbing for them when I take over the class. I have to let them know I'm not going anywhere.

I think there's probably more parallels. I'll save them for a part II.